not use your brainby JCnote

So I was playing at a casino yesterday and I was up a decent amount. The casino had been on to me for the last 20 or 30 minutes because they started dicking me with horrible pen. It was funny, I actually heard the pit boss walk by my dealer and said, “why don’t you go ahead and implement that thing we talked about.” Way to be subtle dude.

So anyway my conditions were deteriorating so I decided to cut the session short and I colored up. This happens to be a low limit table so the highest denomination they have is a black chip. I colored up and left the table with no trouble and started walking toward the cage.

As I’m walking I’m trying to find a graceful way to hold a couple thousand dollars worth of black chips in such a way that I can count them and then kAH BLAM! All my chips fly everywhere!!

If you’re having trouble visualizing it, this scene from Disney’s Cinderella describes it perfectly.

Now that you understand my horror and embarrassment, my next step was to locate a couple thousand dollars worth of black chips on the dark carpeting of a dimly lit casino floor with the assistance of casino personnel that know I just beat the shit out of them.

I quickly and frantically picked up all the chips I could feel for in the immediate 5 foot radius while I try and watch where the rest of my chips are landing and rolling under couches and the shadows of chairs. It was a card counter’s worse nightmare. My ground zero was at least a 15 foot radius of darkness and places for chips to disappear.

The security guard must have seen the commotion and he walked over and asked if I needed a flashlight. I accepted his help and he in fact recovered a black chip from under the couch for me. I counted up my chips and was pretty sure I had gotten them all. I knew what I colored up for but unfortunately I didn’t know what I already had in my hand when I left the table, hence why I was trying to grip my chips in a countable format in the first place. I counted everything up and I had several hundred more than I colored up for, which felt like how much I had in my hand as I was coloring up, so I was pretty sure I was good to go.

As I was counting my chips the pit boss walks over to me and says, “So how long have you been counting cards.”

Damn it! I thought I was going to slip out the door. I chuckle a little bit and say, “oh a little while.”

And the pit boss asked, “Have you been been counting a while? Have you been getting better? Cause you were definitely counting.” The comment about getting better at it was a little weird to me but I can only assume it was because I had a player card and they didn’t flag me as a counter before. He continued and said, “We’re probably not gonna have you play blackjack anymore.”

I told him, “Fair enough.”

He said, “That’s not the first time someone’s said that to you is it?”

I simply repeated, “Fair enough.” Cashed out and left.

If any of you can read this and learn what NOT TO DO in a casino I’ll consider this a win. 😉

Keep making the casinos PAY!


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