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It’s a Plunderful Life! – Card Counting Story

January 1st, 2012
       Happiest of holidays to you from my card counting bunker to yours. I have been hunkered down at the grand opening of a new casino. As it turns out, no heat and a big comeback win were two of my Christmas miracles this year. I am always surprised when that happens. Particularly when the owner himself recently backed me off at a sister casino down the road.
When it comes to plundering casinos, the holiday season can be the most plunderful time of the year. Holidays, celebrations, and special events always represent special opportunities to card counters. Distractions abound.

 

      Your counterparts in the pit are human, and are forced to deal with the same sort of disruptions that the holidays bring you. They are busy with gift shopping, sluggish with holiday ham, and tired from spending time with (and/or avoiding) family. The kids are out of school. Seasonal church events, work parties, and festivities of all kinds always put mental energy for work duties on the back burner. Everyone is slacking off a bit from the floor to the surveillance room, thinking of vacation days and just surviving to the new year. Owners are on holiday. Second stringers and temporaries are holding down the fort. Pit bosses are watching bowl games and pro games with playoff implications.

 

       Add to that the sliver of good will toward humanity and general seasonal merriment everyone feels inclined to participate in and it often adds up to letting things slide with regards to catching and ousting card counters.

 

     May your Christmas stocking be stuffed with cash, and may your New Year’s Resolution involve a bigger and brighter sacking of the casinos in 2012.
—Loudon Ofton

 

P.S. We’ve released our new eBook: 29 Minute Card Counting Book. So far, we’re getting great reviews of it. If you’re interested in finding out more about it, you can check it out here:

Posted in basic strategy, beating blackjack, card counting, gambling, Hit, Double, Destroy | No Comments »

Split Double Destroy [card counting dispatches from behind enemy lines]

October 16th, 2011

The money moves fast. When I lose count of the chips stuffed in my pockets or the cash I have extracted from them, or just when I need to dodge a little heat, compose myself, or strategize, I retire to my office—the casino bathroom.

In addition to its traditional offerings, the bathroom stall is every counter’s respite—often  the only place in the casino without those pesky eyes in the sky following your every move. I don’t know how many millions of collective dollars I have unpacked, counted, recounted, rubber-banded and tried not to pee on inside these stained walls. Don’t drop that thousand dollar chip, because it has a mind for rolling into the next stall and then the scramble is on.

If you have never poured out a Budweiser into the toilet and refilled the bottle with water, you haven’t lived. Well you have lived, maybe quite well, but you have never lived as a shrewd card counter. Just don’t spill your water-filled Budweiser at the table like Ben once did. Oops!

A few stalls—the Wynn and Venetian in Las Vegas come to mind—have doors that go all the way to the floor. Privacy is nice when you are pulling 40 grand out of your socks. A ledge is nice, but more often than not, the top of the toilet paper dispenser is your only hope if you are looking for something resembling a flat surface to stack chips on. I hate automatic-flush toilets. God help me if I ever drop a chip into that bowl and am forced into a quick-draw duel with the hair-trigger sensor. It’s bad enough that while I am counting chips the toilet is flushing the whole time. Other patrons must think I ate at the buffet. Which brings to mind what I hear most while I am in there—buffet cursing, sports cursing, and casino-took-my-money cursing. I once heard a cellphone ringing one stall over. “This is the wolfman,” the man answered with a grunt. That explains the smell, I thought.

Here’s a fun fact—I have never been backed off in a bathroom. But I have been followed into a few, so keep your wits about you.

Tonight I had a handicapped stall to myself. The bigger office is always preferred. I had plenty of space to count, rubber-band, and re-pocket. Ten minutes later I sauntered out, and was met with the scowl and crossed arms of a man waiting in a wheelchair.

 

Posted in basic strategy, beating blackjack, card counting, card counting systems, card counting training, gambling, Hit, Double, Destroy, how to count cards, Las Vegas, Money management, story time | No Comments »

Split Double Destroy [card counting stories from behind enemy lines]

September 29th, 2011

I was driving to a Tribal casino recently. When the GPS beeped with the announcement that I had arrived at my destination I pulled over and looked around. I was on a dusty road with empty desert in all directions. GPS is great, but never let it be the substitute for advance planning.

More than once I have been led to a casino’s administrative building, tribal gaming office, or an outdated address. One time I was led to a KFC. They had no table games, but they did have a Double Down sandwich, which I DID NOT eat. I am a card counter, not a gambler.

Prepare for a trip in such a way that you can find your way without GPS. You never know when your phone will decide it can’t get a signal, or conk out altogether because you dropped it in the airport garage. Use casino websites. Map everything out in advance. Know drive times and where the casinos are in relation to one another so you can make the most efficient travel decisions.

When I get into town, I tend to start at either the casino with the best game, or the casino closest to the airport. From there I have my options mapped out on one sheet of paper. Nothing is clumsier or more time consuming than fumbling with a map on the side of the road. Hands-free driving is best. Be sure you know what texting or cell phone usage laws exist in the state or city to which you are traveling.

Many factors inform my choices in how I launch a regional blackjack assault, from reported conditions to drive times to available lodging nearby (I don’t get those sweet comps so much anymore). As I play, new factors continue to inform my choices, from new information I have received about local games to traffic conditions to whether I suspect I have been flyered.

Remember, the longer you play, the more assured you are that you will be victorious for your career. Trip efficiency is crucial to getting maximum hours each time out and working towards that long run victory.

 

Posted in basic strategy, beating blackjack, card counting, card counting systems, card counting training, casino info, gambling, Hit, Double, Destroy, how to count cards, story time, tribal casinos | 1 Comment »

Split Double Destroy [Card Counting dispatches from behind enemy lines]

August 18th, 2011

I was at a casino recently that didn’t offer surrender—not in the reports, not in the posted rules, not in the signage. Nevertheless, at my first 16 against a dealer’s face card I asked if I could surrender it and get half of my bet back. The dealer shrugged. The pit boss shrugged. Then he said, “Okay.” I like to think they added the rule BECAUSE I asked for it, but in any case the asking made all the difference.

Do your research on blackjack table conditions, and always confirm the information before you play a hand. It hurts the soul of a card counter to find out at the END of a session that what you thought was a six-deck game was actually a five-deck game (they do exist!). It also hurts to make a long drive only to find the place so crowded you can’t get a seat. Call ahead to ask about table limits, rules, and times of day that tables are closed or crowded.

 

Likewise don’t rule out a casino just because of reported conditions. Casino games are organically changing. If money isn’t coming in the doors, or if the casino down the road made its rules better, the casino is often forced to compete for patrons.

 

If card counters are storming a place because of great reports, the game often deteriorates. Stay ahead of the curve by combining good online research with your own research. A report that discourages counters means that foot traffic has decreased and conditions may have changed. I popped my head into a casino recently where they supposedly offered only bad games to find an amazing double-anything single deck game that wasn’t on any of the reports. I played it all night, and the pit was happy to have me as I took them for a healthy chunk of change. Punchline—this dream scenario happened in Las Vegas. No don’t go looking for it. It’s not there anymore. I’d like to think I was the reason they put that table out to pasture, but who knows. I will bet that when the casino is under the gun to boost its numbers, that game may well come back.

 

In the time it took to read this dispatch, the conditions at a blackjack table near you just got better. Go find it and have a roll in the EV on my behalf.—Loudon Ofton

Posted in beating blackjack, card counting, card counting systems, card counting training, Deviations, Hit, Double, Destroy, how to count cards | 1 Comment »

Split Double Destroy [Card Counting dispatches from behind enemy lines]

July 7th, 2011

I was playing blackjack at a large casino last night I had never been to before. They had multiple pits separated by whole minefields of slot machines. I did some wandering back and forth, back-counting and bombing into tables as I saw fit, and playing carefully. I was getting heat from the various pit personnel. I figured I wouldn’t last much longer. That is, until I came across Ramon.
I was playing a table with a feisty dealer. Ramon was an employee approaching the pit. He started stepping over the chain barricade between two tables. One foot was over when the dealer chirped, “Hey! You can’t go that way. You have to go around!”
“You’re right,” Ramon conceded. “I’m sorry,” he pulled his foot back.
“I’m totally kidding,” the dealer said raising his arms in surrender.
“No, you are right,” said a flustered Ramon, and he walked around. The dealer felt a little bad for his verbal assault, and my mouth dropped as I watched Ramon clock in as the pit manager for the next shift.
At that moment I knew that I didn’t want to leave this pit for the whole night. In an industry of bruisers and bulldogs, I had found a beagle. Ramon was a pushover.
In not so many words, I made it clear to Ramon that I belonged here, that my big money was welcome, that I was not the droid he was looking for and that he was doing a great job. I played the rest of the night without any heat, making sure I never ventured beyond Ramon’s pit.
It’s difficult enough to play perfect blackjack, let alone size up, distract, or charm a pit boss in an attempt to throw them off your scent. I know a handful of card counters who are bulldogs in their own right in this way. I have never been much of a bulldog. But if you learn to keep your ears perked, once in a while a pit boss will give away their weakness. When they do, strike.

—Loudon Ofton

Posted in beating blackjack, card counting, cover, gambling, Hit, Double, Destroy, how to count cards, story time | 1 Comment »

Split Double Destroy [Card Counting dispatches from behind enemy lines]

March 3rd, 2011

“Who here can tell me how to win this game?” I asked as I bellied up to a crowded blackjack table. Everyone started talking at once. “Wait,” I held up my hand. “First off—who has won more than they’ve lost in the last year?” Dead silence.

Blackjack: everyone’s got an angle on winning, but very rarely do they seem to do it with any regularity. You’d think a long losing streak in the same direction would shut the peanut gallery up a little. You’d think.

I was playing a table in Arizona this week with, who some might describe as, a big ol’ redneck. He was playing one hand of $100. I was varying back and forth indiscriminately between one hand of $25, and two or three hands of $500. He was getting two things—no love from the cards, and right pissed off. His red neck spread upward and steam started leaking out of his ears.

“Go ahead and clean HIM out!” Mr. Redneck said to the dealer, jerking a thumb in my direction. “Then we can go on back to playing reg-uh-ler.”

Mr. Redneck turned to me. “I hope you get cleaned out bub. Cleaned OUT!”

“This should about do it, yes?” I said, moving  from one hand of $25 to two hands of $500. The vein in his neck throbbed.

“A FOOL and his money are soon parted!” he decreed.

“I wouldn’t know about that,” I said. “I don’t read the Koran.” The dealer flipped a blackjack. I moved to three hands of $500. Mr. Redneck burst into flames.

“It’s not a guessing game, BUB!”

“What kind of game is it?”

“It’s about statistical averages. I should know. I come here every day, week in and week out. I’m trying to get back over two grand back I lost just this week.”

“So how are those statistical averages working out for you?”

His cowboy hat hit the roof riding on a  geyser of steam.

“It’s not about how big you bet, motherf***er!”

“No. You’re right. I’m sorry to hear you and your money were parted. It was too soon.”

“Come on guys,” the dealer begged.

“The difference between you and me,” the man said, spittle sizzling behind his clenched teeth, “is what you got parked out in the lot and what I got parked out in the lot!”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

Mr. Redneck grabbed his chips in a huff and stormed off.

“I drive a Ford Festiva,” I said after him.

 

Every loudmouth with his or her oddball blackjack strategy will have a unique reaction to the way you play. Roll with the punches. Don’t let people get under your skin, and don’t let them intimidate your EV play. Playfulness is better than defensiveness. You are not on trial.—Loudon Ofton

 

Posted in basic strategy, beating blackjack, card counting, card counting systems, Hit, Double, Destroy, how to count cards, story time | 3 Comments »

Split Double Destroy [real-time dispatches from behind enemy lines]

September 3rd, 2010

The player next to me—as is often the case—was tipping the dealer tonight. I—as is always the case—was not. The dealer thanked Mr. Tips more noticeably each time for the table scraps coming his way, and Mr. Tips responded by ever more loudly espousing the eternal virtues of tipping. They were addressing each other, but they were talking at me.

This happens on a regular basis. I have become accustomed to being the lone big bettor at a table, raking it in hand over fist, and nevertheless wearing the label Ungrateful McCheapy-Pants for not tipping a dime.

Finally Mr. Tips got up the nerve and asked me to my face why I don’t tip. I remembered that this player had been talking earlier about signing up for a blackjack tournament.

“Do you ever tip the dealer in a blackjack tournament?”

“NO WAY!” He chortled. “Why would I do that?”

“You tip the dealer here, why not in a tournament?”

“Every dollar counts in a tournament. It might make the difference between winning and losing.”

“That’s why I don’t tip,” I said.  A long silence followed.

“Well,” the player finally said, “What goes around, comes around, you know? It’s about Karma.”

“The same Karma that is suspended for blackjack tournaments everywhere?”

Over the long haul, the casino takes a few cents every round from the average player. The advantaged player turns that on its head to take a few cents every round from the casino. Don’t let your moments of high positive variance fool you. Your margins are a lot smaller than your chip stack. In the long run, he who gives away his cents makes neither cents nor sense. –Loudon Ofton

Posted in Columns, Hit, Double, Destroy, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Split Double Destroy! [real-time dispatches from behind enemy lines]

June 30th, 2010

In search of a cheap last- minute flight to a casino destination west of the Rockies, I stumbled upon something wonderful this week. The cheapest flight available—shockingly cheaper than all of the others—involved a nine-hour layover in Las Vegas.

In the minds of the airline this was the worst way to travel. And it might well have been if the layover were anywhere else. But for me, an advantaged player too well-known to stay under the radar for very long in any major casino destination, nine hours in Vegas was just what the doctor ordered.

I rented a car for 17 dollars. I cashed in a fist full of comp offers for chips, cash, and rooms all over town (They keep rolling in despite my illustrious and oft-flyered track record. When will the various marketing departments get the memo that I have been deemed “Not Welcome?”)

I swung through a handful of casinos, prairie-dogging in and out of shoes. These were all of the same haunts I had been backed off from multiple times before, but on this visit I never stayed long enough to get caught.

With an hour left before my flight, I went back to my palatial “layover” suite where I caught a 20-minute nap and a shower, before heading back to the airport with an extra 12 grand in my pocket, ready to parachute into the next enemy territory.

Since the comp offers are always rolling in, and since Vegas can be a risky trip by oneself, not worth a lengthy stay or the diminishing comp offers alone, now I have the means to hit it hard and often—layovers!

–Loudon Ofton

Posted in Hit, Double, Destroy, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Split Double Destroy! [real-time dispatches from behind enemy lines]

April 1st, 2010

Here we go again. A brash young pit boss with an itchy trigger finger just backed me off. It’s déjà vu all over again. Listen—no one can know you are a good card counter in the first hour. It’s impossible. Maybe after 500 hours of play YOU still aren’t sure. That is par for the course when you are playing a game with wild variance. It just takes time to assess.

No doubt my tosser-outer du jour is patting himself on the back for “pegging me.” I feel an open letter coming on.

Dear Casino Owners, Managers, and Pit Personnel:

If you like your money, you have reason to fear me. But fear is the beginning of love—see—and if you like your money, you have reason to clear out the smallest corner of your bleak black heart for me. After all, I keep you in business.

See, it is because of people like me that you are able to prey upon the people who are 99% like me. I play perfect blackjack. They play almost perfect blackjack. I win money. They lose money. It is because blackjack is a “beatable” game that so many millions of under-informed, under-prepared patrons try their hand at the tables. They eagerly spread their wallets for the glimmer of a chance of a hope that they will win big.
“It’s a beatable game,” the large man told me at the tables last night. He proceeded to double down on a hard thirteen. “Not anymore,” I replied.

For every dollar you lose to me, you get hundred back from the bleating sheep crowding the sea of blackjack tables day in and day out, when I am here and when I am not.

You should celebrate me. You should hang my picture on the wall and say, “Win big like this guy!” Pat me on the back. Buy me a drink. I am doing more for you than your billboard on the interstate. More than your sad promotional mailers. More than your drink specials. I am what every player wants to become. I am the Real Deal.

Now, be assured, It will be our little secret. Nobody needs to know that perfect blackjack takes time, dedication, hard work and plenty of risk to actually make it pay off. This is America. By god they Want It Now, and you’ve always been ready to give it to them—at 98 cents on the dollar. So why would you squash those quick-fix dreams by denying them a hero to emulate? Put me on a pedestal and the dollar bills the people throw will land at your feet.

–Loudon Ofton

Posted in Hit, Double, Destroy, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Split Double Destroy! [Real-time dispatches from behind enemy lines]

February 18th, 2010

Here’s a first: I just got comped–against my will.

I arrived at the large tribal casino knowing I had been backed off here before. If I had any chance for earning EV, I would have to fly under the radar. I would hit the graveyard shift in “Disguise #1.” The following morning (different shift) I would play in “Disguise #2.” Complication: only when I arrived did I realize that the nearest motel was half an hour away, equivalent to an hour of lost playing time for each round trip, so I ended up just booking a room at the casino. More pricey and risky, but I deemed it worth the trade-off in a very tightly scheduled weekend of play.

I played that night as Full-Bearded Leather Harley Dude. I made sure I entered from the overflow parking lot so that surveillance could never tie me to the hotel. When the dealer passed over me and my hard 17 against a dealer ace, I complained to the pit.

Pit Boss: “What did you want to do with that 17?”

Me: “Surrender it.”

Pit Boss (with a wry smile): “That IS the right move.”

I ended the session on my  biggest bet. This is a great way to get max EV and still exit a casino without a backoff. Stand up. Declare you are going to bed, and move all in. The pit is less likely to worry about you, because you are headed out the door. If the count goes down, you make good on your promise. If the count goes up, there is always a good excuse to stay for “one more hand.”

“You staying here tonight?” asked the dealer.

“Nope.” I replied loud enough for the pit to hear.

The next morning I suited up as Respectable Clean-Shaven Tucked Khaki Golfer Guy and swung by the lobby for my hotel receipt.

Desk Lady: “I’m sorry, I can’t give you a receipt.”

Me: “Say what?”

Desk Lady: “The casino comped you the room based on last night’s play.”

I had not given a player’s card or ID at the casino. And if they figured me out, they would have to know that I had been backed off before. So they NOT ONLY positively ID’d me and DIDN’T back me off, but they tracked me down as an ACTUAL hotel guest. And how did they stick it to me for catching me in the act? THEY COMPED MY ROOM AGAINST MY WILL. The kicker–four more hours of no-backoff play after this debacle. Can someone make sense of all this?

–Loudon Ofton

Posted in Hit, Double, Destroy, Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

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